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10 Ways to Prepare You & Your Child for Surgery

With Nancy Strzyzewski, RN

Surgery can be frightening for almost anyone, let alone a child. So, if the time comes that your child needs surgery, how do you prepare him? Can you prepare him? Are you prepared?

The thought of having surgery can bring on feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, confusion – and that is just for the parents! Now imagine the signals your child is receiving when she sees mom and dad expressing these emotions.

According to Nancy Strzyzewski, RN, a nurse clinician in surgical services education, children pick up on the emotions of their parents during these stressful times. “The better the parent is prepared, the better the child will do. If the parent is anxious and nervous, the child will know that. Your child knows exactly what you’re feeling and you need to be aware as a parent,” says Strzyzewski.

A good starting point to preparing for your child’s surgery is to familiarize yourself with the hospital, facilities and personnel. “I encourage parents to go to the hospital, get familiar with the area; take a test drive. It’s important to know where your going to park, where the entrance is, and where registration is located. If you are anxious, your child will pick up on your anxiety,” says Strzyzewski. “The size of the hospital can be intimidating. Your child will sense you’re more relaxed if you are prepared, and your child will be more relaxed as a result.”

It is also recommended that parents take the time to meet some of the caregivers prior to showing up to the hospital the day of surgery. This way, parents can establish some trust for the people who are going to have direct care of their child pre and post-op. “I’m in awe of the amount of trust that parents put in us,” says Strzyzewski. “Visit the nurses who are taking care of your child.”

So, what else should you know about preparing your child? Here is some advice:

1. The day of surgery bring something of comfort for your child..special toy, blanket

2. Do not allow your child to eat or drink per the physicians instructions the day of, and prior to, surgery. It is so important to the child’s safety.

3. Bring extra underwear. Most kids feel more comfortable in their own underwear (rather than the hospitals paper ones); bring extra pairs in case of any “accidents.”

4. Be flexible for the day. If your child is in the middle of changing habits (bottle to cups; removing pacifier; potty training, etc.), allow your child to regress if they want for the day.

5. Don’t be embarrassed. Your child may throw tantrums the day of surgery. Remember, they are stressed out, afraid and anxious. Tantrums are expected.

6. Talk to your child about the surgery at an age-appropriate time. Do not wait the day of, or the day before, to tell him/her. Recommendations are: preschool, 1-2 days; Adolescents: 7-10 days so they have time to process the information.

7. Ask your child what is their biggest fear/worry. What do they think is going to happen? That will give you a key as to what to talk to your child about beforehand.

8. Give your child some control. Your child does not have control for that day. Give them some reasonable control on what they want to wear to the hospital, items they may want to take, etc. Make your child feel like he/she has some control of the day’s events.

9. Relax. It is going to be a long day, and the best way to calm your child is to be relaxed yourself.

10. Be patient. Remember that everyone involved has your child’s care and safety in mind.

“Children regress when they are stressed out. We know it is the worst day of their life, and we don’t expect them to be perfect. They may have a tantrum or two. We expect that. They are just trying to cope,” says Strzyzewski. “Parents need to look at this as just one day. It is not going to be a reflection on their child for the long run. The goal is to make it work for the child.”