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Looking for a Home for Mom

One of the most difficult decisions a daughter or son may need to make in their lifetime is whether or not their parent needs to be placed into an elderly facility. It’s a decision that no one wants to make nor is prepared to make but for the 36 million Americans over 65, finding an alternative place to live is a stark reality.

“Most of us don’t think about it until we, or an elderly loved one, experiences an illness or an accident and can no longer live independently,” says Sandy Mabery, the owner of Pine Tree Place, an assisted living home in Clarkston.

Since all the options, language and concepts can be overwhelming, here are some of the key concepts that Mabery encourages you to consider when researching a senior home for your parent:

Determine the Facility Type

From assisted care to retirement communities to nursing homes, there are many different kinds of facilities to consider. Each of them differs according to the individual’s level of independence, healthcare needs, financial needs and their personality.

According to the National Center for Assisted Living, assisted living provides relatively independent seniors with assistance and limited healthcare services in a 24-hour facility that provides as much as possible, a home-like atmosphere. Assisted living facilities are regulated and licensed by each state separately. In Michigan, there are two types of licensed senior facilities: Skilled Nursing Facility and Adult Foster Care. Assisted living facilities fall under the Adult Foster Care category.

Nursing homes are designed to care for very frail people that are not able to care for themselves and have numerous health care requirements. If they abide by certain standards then the nursing home is licensed by the state under the Skilled Nursing Facility category.

Independent Living Communities are for seniors who need very little care or assistance. Typically, they live in private apartments or condominiums and also have access to a variety of social outings with the other members of the community.

Once you have an idea of the kinds of facilities that exist, you can then start to tailor your search based upon the needs of your parent.

Be Honest about the Health Needs of Your Loved One

As much as we want to convince ourselves that our parents are perfectly capable of taking care of him or herself, it is often not the case, particularly if they are just recovering from a medical trauma. Talk to their medical doctor and hospital caseworker about what it is your parents can and should no longer do any more. Also, speak to them about how much healthcare assistance they will need in the immediate and long-term.

Evaluating how many Activities of Daily Living or ADL’s they can perform without assistance can assess their level of functionality. ADL is a formal term for a list of activities that most of us do without thinking about it. They include such actions like bathing, dressing, eating, walking, using the toilet and getting up and sitting down.

“Generally speaking, the more independent your mother or father is, the less expensive the cost of care will be,” says Mabery. “The more ADL’s they need help with, the more important it is for you to consider placing them in a smaller home where the care will be more specialized and personalized.”

If your parent has a host of medical conditions, then you want to consider a facility that has a medical staff, even during the night. Expect the cost to be higher since the facility will have to pay for the 24-hour medical supervision.

Ask the Right Questions

There are a number of important questions to ask the senior facility you are considering but here are a few common but significant ones that may get overlooked, says Mabery.

First, ask what the facility’s admission and discharge policies are. Often, facilities reserve the right to discharge your parent if they become more disabled.

If your parent needs medication, find out what their policies are regarding dissemination, storage of medication, record-keeping and any additional costs associated with their prescription drugs.

In addition, find out what the food service is like. Where are meals eaten, are meals nutritionally balanced, are snacks available, how much choice is there in daily meals are important questions to inquire about.

Also, consider the personality of your parent: Do they like large groups of people or are they more comfortable in smaller or more intimate settings? In a smaller facility, the resident has more of an opportunity to become part of an extended family feel, says Mabery.

Ask if the facility accepts only a one-person transfer or do they also have available a 2-person transfer? This refers to the number of attendants needed to help the resident stand up, sit down or use the toilet.

Make sure you not only tour the facility, says Mabery, but pop in unannounced to evaluate if things are running just as they were during your introductory walk-through. This will give you a great idea of how things function day-to-day.

Know the Financial Costs

You may need to have a frank discussion with your parents on what they can afford each month. Typically, a licensed assisted living facility will cost between $2,500 and $8,000 each month. Mabery estimates that the average is $3,000 and the higher figures are due to more customized facilities, more medically-supervised care and more assistance needed to perform ADL’s.

Independent Living Communities tend to be less money. They average between $1,000 to $3,000 per month.

Currently in the state of Michigan, all costs are privately paid. In the future, the hope is that Medicare will start to cover some of the costs of assisted living.

For more information, Mabery recommends visiting these two websites for important and easy-to-follow information: www.mich.gov and www.aplaceformom.com.

Written with the help of Sandy Mabery.