An Author’s Book on Cancer Hits Close to Home

Over 10 years ago, Veronica Decker, a psychiatric nurse practitioner, had counseled over 1,000 patients who were coping with a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Her experiences led her to write and self-publish a book with co-author Linda Ferris in 1998, then titled; “Pocketful of Miracles.”

Then, in 2007, her daughter’s soccer teammates’ mother was diagnosed with cancer. The girl read “Pocketful of Miracles” to her mother throughout the summer of 2007 until her mother passed away in August of that year.

When Decker heard of the inspiration her book provided this mother and daughter, she decided that there was still a great need to reach more people. Therefore, she began putting the plans together to re-publish her book, and in April 2009, with the support of ONS Publishing Division, “Coping With Cancer: A Patient Pocketbook of Thoughts, Advice and Inspiration for the Ill” was published.

Decker, the wife of Oncologist, David Decker, MD, had spent her career counseling patients and families on how to cope with the disease of cancer. Her conversations would cover a variety of topics such as coping with the diagnosis, what to do during doctor visits, who/what/when to tell family, friends, co-workers about your disease, and how to plan for your future.

Much of what you may think are the “norm” for dealing with cancer, may not be for a particular individual, advises Decker. “I came up with coping patterns that work, but not all patients may agree with it,” she says.

For instance, she points out that many people want to be “friends” with their doctor. “The doctor is not your friend,” she says. “Is he having a beer with you? No. He is there to treat you and he will be there for you, but he is not there to be your friend.”

It is important for patients to maintain that professional relationship with their physician so that they can accurately manage their disease and be honest about their treatment results, options and future care. It is also important because perceived “friendships” may cloud the patient’s ability to ask their doctor difficult decisions, which can inhibit you from proactively managing your treatment.

Decker also recommends that patients do not go blindly into support groups. She says it is important to make sure that a support group is right for you. “Be persnickety about the groups you choose,” she advises. “Be aware of the group and what the similarities or dissimilarities are based on age, race, religion…find one that is the right fit for you.”

Recently, Decker’s years of educating patients came into play as cancer hit closer to home. In January 2009, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Now, as she continues to work counseling patients at Cancer Care Associates in Royal Oak, she can truly tell patients she has “walked the walk.”

“I never thought that it couldn’t be me,” says Decker, referring to all of her conversations with patients. “I do think anyone can die. I do practice what I preach. I’ve walked into the MRI. I can add depth to my conversations. For most of us, the last place I want to be is strapped in a chair getting chemo.”

As she went through her surgery, chemo and radiation, Decker maintained her work-life balance. She received her chemo on Fridays so that she could be “sick” over the weekend. “I never missed a day of work,” she says.

In her book, she talks about compartmentalizing and prioritizing. “Women have to learn to relax and be sick and not worry about laundry…let it go,” says Decker. But she also advises to continue living your life even when you feel sick – because you WILL feel sick, she states.

“Sometimes you need to prioritize with the energy you do have,” she says. “You want to feel normal. Walking and shopping around Meijer makes you feel normal. Remember that they (the cancer patient) could be shopping one day and die the next, but they were doing what they wanted to do, even if they felt sick.”

Decker also advises to “have some goals in the future” whether it is a cruise, visiting a daughter or family. “Definitely set goals for the future, but make sure you can manage day-to-day.”

Over the last eight months, Veronica Decker has ‘walked the walk’ of her patients. She has felt the disease weaken her body. She has gained the weight; lost her hair; been sick for the weekend. But through it all, she continues to support others in their struggle with disease each day at the office.

She shares her experiences in a blog on her website. Although she doesn’t recommend this for everyone, it has helped her continue to share her advice, while also help her cope with her own disease. For more information, visit www.veronicadecker.com.

Michigan Author to Hold Book Signing, Lecture About Cancer

Royal Oak, MI – Veronica Decker, a psychiatric nurse practitioner, specializing in cancer care, will hold a book signing and lecture this Saturday, September 19th, 2009 at Barnes & Noble, located at 500 Main Street, in Royal Oak. The signing will take place from 2-3:15 p.m. followed by a brief talk from 3:15 – 3:30 p.m.

“Coping With Cancer: A Patient Pocketbook of Thoughts, Advice, and Inspiration for the Ill” was written by Decker to help patients and their families manage a cancer diagnosis. This helpful guide covers such topics as doctor’s visits, crisis management, hope, family, friends and much more.

For more information regarding the author, her blog, or where to find her book, visit www.veronicadecker.com.